Interestingly through the process of finding myself again in the haze of new motherhood I am discovereing interesting things about what I truly treasure.
I have found that time and how I use it has become increasingly important to me.
This is mainly because when I do get those precious few moments to myself each day I have to choose wisely how I spend it.
I find myself getting annoyed if Harris falls asleep while we are out because that means the quiet alone time that I get to spend doing things for me are stolen by being out driving or at the shops.
Sometimes I choose to spend the whole of the first hour that he sleeps in the day doing house work - because I know that means I will get the second sleep of the day all to myself and I can spend it looking at things on the internet, reading, sewing, studying or just watching TV.
If I do manage to get out of the house without Harris, I am usually in a rush to get back again (mother guilt!)
A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to go out and do something completely indulgent with no agenda - that was to go and just sit at a coffee shop and have a coffee and read a magazine. To not be anxious that he might wake up at any second and spoil my relaxation time - or to simply not be in a rush to finish my coffee because he is squirming in the pram or yelling - was a true treat.
I was amazed that something so simple could fill me up to the brim of relaxation so easily. It made me realise that my prior thinking - of going out for a walk each day and "treating" myself to a coffee and a cake at a coffee shop- wasn't in reality a treat at all. It was more like something I was telling myself I deserved - but I wasn't really able to enjoy it.
I guess what I am trying to say is that I have learnt to savour those things that are truly treats and to give them the level of importance they deserve.
Recarging your batteries is so important when you have a baby - and ideally you would have a lovely husband who gives you the love and supoort you need to be able to achieve this. Luckily I do and I really don't know what I would do with out him!
I am learning every day!
I can totally relate to your post. Alone time is so precious once you have a baby! And I know what you mean about rushing back when you go out without him!
ReplyDeleteJodie