I did something amazing and slept through the entire night last night - how I don't really know. I much have achieved the right balance of food and tiredness.
It didn't really do me any good though because I continued feeling rubbish for most of today with just a slight pick up in the afternoon.
I think that the baby may have dropped down into my pelvis a bit more because walking has become uncomfortable, pressure down there has increased and his kicking position has moved a little lower.
I really didn't want to be at work today and I was thinking of telling them I would be finishing a week early - but I just need to take it one day at a time - only 8 work days to go.
A little bit later on...
I had to come back and do a bit of an edit because I just had a bit of an epiphany and I needed to write it down.
I have been going to work and moping around, clock watching and dreading each day because in my mind I have got myself believing that it is going to be tough being there all day.
I just need to reframe it. Sure I may have moments of tiredness (even a couple of hours!) and I am allowed to because I have another human inside of me.
But if I go in each day expecting it to drag on and be dreary and difficult - then how could it be anything else.
While I still need to do things at a slower pace - it's not like I am going to have the baby tomorrow. I think that I have been going in and being all prescious because every time I get a pain of any description I think my goodness this could be it.
In reality I have 4.5 weeks to go and there isn't any real reason why he should come early, so I just need to get on with life as though I wasn't expecting anything to happen and I am positive that 2 things will happen.
1) I will enjoy the next 4 weeks a lot more
2) It will go faster and the painful bit will be over and done with - minus all the anxiety and anticipation about waiting for it to happen.
I read something along similar lines in one of my favourite books a while back - although it was in regard to goal setting and overcoming fears about reaching goals. This is an excerpt from Fitter, Faster, Stronger, Smarter by Miranda Banks (xxiii, 2007).
It's 30000 BC and a misty predawn light is starting to trainl it's way into your cave. You're obviously the first awake because you can hear the rhythmic sound of heavy breathing coming from the other sleeping mats. As you yawn, stretch and contemplate the day to come, you notice that the fire has almost gone out at the mouth of the cave - not a positive sign of effective security.
Without warning, the silence is broken by a blood curdling roar. A large lion pads into sight. It stops - its body filling the cave's entrance - and eyes you hungrily.
Right now, your survival - and the survival of the other still asleep- depends on whether you're thinking one of the following:
- "I'm toast"
- "Great! I love pitting myself agains carnivores! My super-charged, light weight killer spear is handy and I'm feeling strong!"
- "Run! I'm trapped darn it. Didn't I tell the builder that I needed that escape hatch fixed yesterday"
- " I wish I'd paid attention in the "How to talk with lions" class"
- "I wonder if I should hide under the covers? If I can't see it, maybe it can't see me."
- "Where's steve? He's always claiming to be the lion tamer. Now here is his chance."
- "Dear Moggins - hand reared since a cub- is here for his breakfast. I just wish he'd turn down the volume on his wake up call.
In short, when people are faced with a challenge, they have behavioural choices from which to select. They can choose to give in to the challenge, fight it, run from it, reason with it, hide from it, pass it on to someone else or reframe it so that it no longer represents a challenge.
The ability to plan for an encounter with a lion (metaphorically speaking) - or to reframe the encounter so the lion becomes a kitten and is therefore infintely more manageable - forms a significant component of the thinking that sets achievers and non achievers apart.
I was looking at the challenge of the last few weeks and choosing to fight it and make it worse than it needed to be. Now I choose to reframe it to something thatis far more pleasant and makes the time go faster - not to mention the free airconditioning!
The brain wiring is there - I just need to figure out how to get it glowing again.
(PS - Next time you are struggling to get out of bed in the morning for your morning gym session - remember the lion and get up and face it - you'll feel better afterwards - AND you'll be one step closer to reaching your goal and overcoming your challenge!)
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